In-law issues

I have heard that the most difficult of family relationships are between a mother and her daughter in law. This has been true in my life. My mother in law is a wonderful and faithful woman but is very strong in her options and will not deviate or compromise. I am fairly easy going but this has caused some contention between us. However, I see it more in the problems that have come up with the other daughters in law who are more opinionated. I have learned that it is very important to cleave unto your spouse and be united in your goals before turning towards your extended family members for advice or companionship. In the article we read about how difficult it can be to decide where you will spend your holidays. This was a problem for the first couple of years of my marriage. Both families would always end up being frustrated with us for not spending enough time with them. This is when we realized we just needed to do what was best for us and stop trying to please everyone else, because it was impossible and unnecessary.

Adulting

It was interesting to read this week about the changes that need to occur between parents and their adult children. I have a 20 year old son and an 18 year old daughter. My son doesn’t live at home but was just home visiting for a couple of weeks. Our relationship with him is very “adult”. He respects us and is much more helpful around the house than he was when he lived with us. Our eighteen year old is a different story. She has graduated from high school but is still living with us for another month before she leaves for college. This is a weird transition. We have slowly given her more freedom which is so difficult for me. She would have wanted us to give her 100% freedom the day she turned eighteen but that wasn’t going to happen. It needs to be gradual and the goal of parenting is to teach our children to be independent and responsible. This cannot be done if we make every decision for them, even though I would like to sometimes. Then I remember that it was Satan’s plan to take away agency. Our children need to learn to overcome challenges while they are living with us so we can help them navigate life as they grow.

Eternal Happiness

Sean E. Brotherson wrote an article and shared his mother’s thoughts on intimacy within her marriage. She said, “Sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was spiritual, and sometimes it was a willingness to love.” I can relate to these thoughts tremendously. Sexual intimacy within a marriage is meant to strengthen many different facets of our relationship. All of the aspects of marriage that we have studied so far this year leads up to this very critical component of our covenant. We are meant to have fun together, be romantic, spiritual, and of course love each other. At the beginning of the semester we learned, and continue to learn, that one of the most vital parts of a relationship is the friendship. This is what we build on and the sexual relationship between husband and wife is a blessing and strength to them. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Through the lens of spirituality we see all the commandments of God as invitations to blessings. Obedience and sacrifice, loyalty and love, fidelity and family, all appear in eternal perspective.” This was another one of my favorite quotes from this week. I am so thankful for the commandments we have been given and how these protect us from damaging ourselves and those around us. Through obedience we can find eternal happiness.